46: smelly yeti proserpine

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Dark and deep pomegranate mingles with cool and twisty caverns; a hint of gloomy underworld grounds and balances this scent.

In the bitty bottle, Proserpine (which I cannot stop typing “Prosperine”) smells red and fruity, with something cool and almost minty underneath.

Wet on skin, that cool, earthy, minty scent is the strongest. It’s slightly sweet but not overwhelmingly so. Just enough to kind of make the mint read bubblegummy or toothpaste-y to me. The intense red fruitiness I got in the bottle is very much subdued on skin.

As it dries, the minty bubblegum/toothpaste vibe remains, but the cool earthiness amps up as well and there’s very little pomegranate to be sniffed. It’s not really fruity at this point at all. And the earthiness doesn’t smell like dirt, per se – I really like the smell of dirt and I’m not crazy about this. It’s got more of a dank, murky stone and ozone thing going on. Which makes sense given the inspiration for the scent.

I like Proserpine in the bottle, but I don’t care for it on my skin.

Elevator Pitch: Very fruity on cold sniff, but on skin it’s almost entirely a cool, slightly sweet mint over dank, murky stone and ozone. Oddly perfumey.

smelly yeti hellmouth collection, part deux!

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Aww yes season 3. Let’s attack the Mayor with hummus.

HEY GUYS. I have more Buffy goodness for you today! If you’ve glanced at this blog for like .25 seconds before, you know how much joy it brings me to be able to go on and on (and on) about my most favorite show on the planet. I’ll take any opportunity, really, but when it intersects with one of my other most favorite things on the planet, indie perfume? Even better. Even best.

But enough with the cartoon hearts floating around my head. Let’s do this thing.

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“Giles, I’m 16 years old. I don’t want to die.” *SOB*

Slayer, The: Before she was a slayer, she was a teenage girl. Sweet, bright and feminine, this scent is a delicious blend of light and fruity Californian citrus. Blood orange, tangerine, Meyer lemon, and lime with a creamsicle sweetness. Feminine.

Ooh, yum. In the bottle, Slayer, The smells like light, sweet, slightly fizzy citrus. A cross between orange and lemon – like a meyer lemon Italian soda.

Wet on skin it’s bubbly lemon, lime, and sweet orange – the whole citrusy spectrum. Thankfully it doesn’t veer toward cleaning products like so many citrus scents do on my skin. It’s got a slight fizziness going on, but it just kind of makes it smell “sparkling.”

On dry down it does got a bit cleaner-y, but my skin does that to a lot of citrus scents, so I assumed YMMV on that. It’s not too bad, though. All in all, this is a really nice citrus scent. Clean and zesty and just lightly sweet.

I tend to prefer my citrus scents much sweeter, however, so I decided to try layering Cub Scout over it. I hate to admit it, but Buffy and Riley, YOU SMELL OKAY TOGETHER. Please excuse me while I go rock in a corner for a while. Slayer, The did overpower Cub Scout after a while, though – perfume imitates art imitates the truth of the universe, duh – so then I tried layering it with Broody Guy and lo, it smelled like delicious lemon cake. A step up, to be sure. However, after a while it punched through Broody Guy too. Slayer, The is not fucking around. Vampires, demons, forces of darkness, and boyfriends of all quality levels: beware.

I didn’t try layering it with Captain Peroxide, because fizzy lemon bacon sounds like the most vomit-worthy of things I can think of. Sorry, Spike. You’ll always be in my heart. And my spank bank. Just not on my wrists.

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The internet is severely lacking good Joyce gifs.

Supermom: Sweet and simple, warm and comforting, it’s a mug of hot chocolate, the brim overflowing with mini marshmallows. Folded underneath the sweet and subtle cocoa is a hint of caffeine and a smothering of sticky benzoin. Feminine.

In the bottle, Supermom smells like delicious hot chocolate. YUM. Not dark, fancy drinking chocolate – this smells like straight-up Swiss Miss. A milky, slightly powdery chocolate with mini marshmallows.

Wet on skin, it’s got a deep, ambery kind of vibe underneath the sweet cocoa. It’s a nice counterpoint to the chocolately goodness. This one stays pretty linear throughout the dry down and ultimately smells EXACTLY like a chocolate Tootsie Pop.

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NOPE.

Jeeves: When there’s something strange in the neighborhood…go to the library. A cup of tea, the dusty smell of leatherclad demonology books, a woody medieval weapons cabinet, and the unmistakable smell of LEARNING. Unisex.

In the vial, Jeeves is soft leather and tea. Mild, considering. Not bacon-y, thank god.

On skin it’s all leather at first, almost verging on bacon-y, and then black tea joins the party. Oddly that sort of amplifies the bacon-ness since the tea is a little smoky. It continues to skew that way as it dries. Alas, Giles, your scent is not for me. I’m not a big fan of leather scents in general, but Smelly Yeti’s leather just really doesn’t work on my skin.

Bonus: I smeared this one on my fiance after I told him that it was a Giles-themed scent and he said “I’d wear it.” GAME ON, SIR. It smells much better on him – woody and musty in a good way, like a used bookstore, and later on the tea comes out in a less smoky way. I definitely prefer the way it smells on him. I also loved his reaction to it smelling so different, because I don’t think he’s ever really understood what I meant when I talked about skin chemistry before. He just kept going, “What? Are you sure that was the same bottle? THAT’S SO WEIRD.” <3

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Eskimo Willow is my favorite Willow.

Who’s That Girl?: Willow. Sweet and shy but powerful; not one of those wanna-blessed-be’s. A sweet quasi-gourmand scent of cookies, sugar and spice and everything nice…with a witchy twist. The classic bakery smell undercut by incense and a splash of ginger. Feminine, leaning unisex.

In the vial: this smells amazing. Like spicy sugar cookies. LIKE SNICKERDOODLES.

Wet on skin it’s snickerdoodles, all sugar cookies and cinnamon sugar. The cinnamon does me the favor of NOT going balls to the wall here, which I appreciate. After a few minutes a little bit of bitey ginger shows up, a nice counterpoint to the cookie sweetness.

It doesn’t change much during dry down – it’s just delicious, spicy cookies. There’s a little incense wafting underneath everything after about 10 minutes or so, but it doesn’t change the general tone of the scent, just kind of blends in with the spices. Further into dry down, the cinnamon does get a liiiiittle heavier than I’d like, but that’s an annoying skin chemistry thing.

Even so, I love this one. That girl is Willow and SHE SMELLS LIKE SNICKERDOODLES. I bet she would, too. Aww. Willow.

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“Well… sometimes I crave a non-fat yogurt afterward.”

Psycho: Assertive and bold, uninhibited and reckless. Faith’s always been a wild card. Wild black cherry, dirty leather, black musk, and a wisp of tobacco smoke.

In the vial: cherries and bacon, whyyyy? It’s leather and smoke. The same thing happened with Captain Peroxide. Something about SY’s leather and smoke mixed together just smells like bacon to me. Ick. Bleh.

Wet on skin, holy jesus. Dark black, ozoney and metallic. I don’t even know what’s going on here. I smell leather in the background, but the cherry lollipops I got in the bottle are nowhere to be found. It’s sharp and black and dirty metallic, like pennies rolling around in the parking lot of a biker bar.

After a few minutes a muskiness starts to come out underneath, with a little bit of warmth and just a tiny, tiny infinitesimal particle of sweetness. That trend continues as it dries, and at some point I start to smell a hint of cherry again. The bacony smoke and leather combo makes an appearance too, but it’s not super strong. I think the leather is what I’m reading as metallic, actually. It dries down to a warm, dirty musk with a touch of smoky cherry and a biting metallic/leathery edge.

This gives me a headache. It’s appropriate for Faith, but it gives me a headache. And even if it didn’t, I’m not a fan. Sorry, Faith. ILU, girl, but this one is Not For Me.

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Brood so hard motherfucker don’t cast a shadow reflection.

Broody Guy: Dark, masculine leathers with hair gel and self-loathing…aw, who am I kidding. Angel likes to play the dark avenger card, but we’re not fooled. This one smells like cake. Sweet, delicious cake with buttercream frosting. Unisex, because who doesn’t like a guy who smells like a bakery?

In the bottle, Broody Guy smells like deep, rich, sweet cake.

Wet on skin it’s a little less sweet, slightly musky in a sexy way, but still cakey and delicious. It’s linear throughout the dry down. Sweet but not cloying, musky, delicious. Yes please. I love this on myself, but I could also see a guy wearing it. It’s not so overly sweet that it would be off-putting to a dude.

Also: so this is why Lorne kept called you pastries, Angel Cakes. I see how it is.

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Welcome to True Facts with Riley Finn.

Cub Scout: Vanilla. Straight up vanilla. Not that that’s a bad thing! And it’s a really nice vanilla, I swear. A perfect subtle scent which works great for layering and adding sweetness to other scents; worn alone, Cub Scout is simply a rich vanilla with the slightest hint of woods. Unisex.

In the bottle, Cub Scout smells like a musky, slightly woody vanilla. Wet on skin, it’s a little warmer and very mild. It doesn’t change much throughout the dry down.

This one is, as stated, a simple musky vanilla with a touch of woods. It’s not overly sweet, definitely not a gourmand vanilla. Subtle throw, wears close to skin.

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“Is Jordy a werewolf? Uh-huh. And how long has that been going on?”

Mongrel: Smell like a werewolf. Have you noticed any changes in your life? Maybe you’ve been craving red meat. Maybe a few times a month, you wake up in an unfamiliar place. You smell it before you see it – damp, grassy earth, fallen oak trees, mossy underbrush, dark oud…It’s probably nothing to worry about. You’re not howling at the moon, right? Right? Masculine.

In the bottle, Mongrel smells sharp, grassy, and woody. Wet on skin, I smell damp dirt and spicy woods, and green mossy things. A little ozone-y. It smells like a forest floor. I really like most of what I smell here, but there’s something I’m not crazy about. It’s whatever the sharp ozone-y thing is. It could be the oud – I didn’t really love it in either of the Darling Clandestine scents that featured oud last year either, but this smells different. I’m not really sure.

As it dries, that sharpness calms down a little bit and it’s more earth and woods, but there’s still an edge to it that I’m not super crazy about on my skin. I like it, but I don’t love it. Fitting for the subject matter, though, and I bet it would smell great on a guy.

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Magic, the all-purpose metaphor.

Spell Gal: An old school witch with modern ways. Or is it the other way around? Witchiness in a bottle. Incenses, resins, cedar, pink peppercorn, smoky clary sage and dark oud with a bright flash of lemon. Feminine.

In the bottle, Spell Gal smells sharp and incense-y with citrus and herbs. Wet on skin, it’s all resins and incense. Sharp, spicy, herbal and a little smoky. It smells like walking into a new age shop that’s just been cleansed with a smudge stick. There’s a slight tang of lemon in the background.

On dry down it’s mostly smoky sage and lemon. I like this stage best, and I don’t mind this one, but in general it’s not something I’d reach for.

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I feel you, girl.

Capitalist: In ancient tradition, different oils had different meanings, and there were some said to bring wealth to those who wore them…sweet orange, bergamot, cinnamon, clove, cardamom and more mix and mingle to bring you a heady spiced citrus scent that will make you wealthier than all your wildest…well, no promises, right?

Capitalist is very mild in the bottle. It smells like spicy clove oranges.

On skin it’s spicy oranges, clove and cinnamon, but the cinnamon isn’t overwhelming. I also get something almost a little licorice-y, even though I know it’s not in the notes. This one is warm and spicy, very nice for cold weather, although it does skew a little candle-y on my skin during dry down. It’s the cinnamon.

Further into dry down, it gets a little more fruity and the combination reminds me a little bit of cinnamon bubble gum.

So, overall thoughts? Not as many hits for me personally as the first batch of the Hellmouth scents, but in general I’m loving this collection. Of course I am. I’m admittedly biased there. My favorites here are Who’s That Girl? and Broody Guy. I like Supermom, too. Most of the rest either just aren’t to my particular tastes or clash with my skin chemistry.

I’ll leave you with the Dance of Capitalist Superiority.

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Smelly Yeti is closed at the moment, but should be re-opening soon.

october 2014 favorites

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I’ve had a nasty head cold for about a week now – a fate worse than death for a perfume-o-phile! Okay, not really, but the prolonged sniffles and generally non-functioning nose region have largely tanked my planned perfume reviews. So instead I’ve got a slightly belated October favorites list for you! With illustrated representations, naturally.

Just the indies this time around… no real reason except that I didn’t feel like drawing anymore stuff.

Blackbird Cosmetics: Both of my reviews (v1, v2) of Blackbird’s matte shadows have basically been love letters, so it’s no surprise that they’d turn up on my favorites list. The four shades I’ve been loving the most are Thirteen, Dog Days, Beau, and Half Full. All brownish colors, because I am boring. Thirteen is a great soft lid color, Dog Days is literally perfect in the crease, Beau gets smudged in as a subtle liner, and Half Full is a great browbone/inner corner highlight. Soft, neutral, easy. All the hearts.

Haus of Gloi Olde Cider Haus: Smells like apple picking! My bottle of Olde Cider Haus has been kicking around since 2011, so it’s aged a bit, and I think it’s much better for it. The vanilla is deeper, the woods and hay are smoother, and the whole scent just smells a little richer. This is one that I get the urge to reach for every fall, right when the leaves start to turn. (Also, I have apparently never reviewed this? What? That needs to be remedied.)

Solstice Scents Manor and Foxcroft: Smells like a formerly grand/currently ramshackle estate and a chilly fall day, respectively. Manor is deep, smooth woods and rich vanilla, and Foxcroft literally smells like you bottled the essence of a damp, chilly fall afternoon. It’s dirt and leaves and cold wind and the last bits of golden sunshine, and I just want to roll around and bathe in it. The Dude doesn’t like it; he thinks it smells like a damp basement. It’s okay, he’s allowed to be wrong. Cellar smells like a damp basement.

(And here are two more that I’ve never reviewed! I am seriously terrible about reviewing stuff that I’ve owned for a while. If I don’t do it when it first crosses my desk, I’ll put it in my perfume drawer and never give it another thought, even if I use it all the time. For shame.)

Pumpkin & Poppy Oak Bark Contouring Powder and Aphrodite Inner Glow Powder: Oh, these two products. I cannot adequately express my love. Honestly, I am way overdue in reviewing these. I’ve had them both for a few months now, and I’m not lying when I say that I’ve used them every single day that I’ve put on makeup since then. I haven’t found a single indie makeup product that’s made more of an impact on my daily routine.

Oak Bark really is the perfect contour powder for pale people. And it’s extra super perfect for pale, warm-ish or yellowy/olive folks like myself, because it’s a pretty neutral-toned brownish-taupe – it doesn’t lean too grey or too orange. It’s pigmented but not too pigmented, blendable but long-lasting, and just generally my holy grail of contouring products.

Aphrodite is one of P&P’s Inner Glow Powders, finishing powders meant to mimic Hourglass’ super-spendy Ambient Lighting Powders. I haven’t tried those, so I can’t compare, but Aphrodite is intended to be a dupe for Diffused Light, and it is amazing. It’s a very pale cream sort of shade, so I doubt it would work for those with darker skin, but it doesn’t seem to deposit much actual color on my skin in any case. I apply it all over after foundation with a big fluffy brush, and it just makes my skin look better – a little brighter, more awake, and yes, glowy without being shimmery. I adore it. I never buy backups, but you best believe that as soon as I make a decent dent in this jar, I’ll be going back for another. It’ll probably take a while, though – I’ve been using it nearly every day for several months and it pretty much looks brand new. (Same goes for Oak Bark.)

Smelly Yeti Perfumery: Just, in general. Smelly Yeti is a brand new baby perfumery that just opened about a month ago – you can see my review of the whole opening lineup here. I really enjoyed almost everything I tried, but of course my favorite thing is that there’s a Buffy collection. And plans for more Buffy scents, and a Veronica Mars scent! Be still my heart, you guys. I’m all a-twitter. My eyes, they are as large and limpid as the moon, and full of love. What I’m saying is: I just can’t.

My favorites, and on the top of my list to buy when I have some cash, are Buffybot, Beauty Queen, Pipsqueak, Queen of the Damned, Hey, McFly!, and Not The Bees.


So that’s what I’ve been loving lately! Now it’s your turn, gentle reader, if you care to comment – do you have any favorites at the moment? Enable me.

smelly yeti perfumery intro & review

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GAZE UPON THEM AND REJOICE

Note: If you’ve read this blog at all, you know this is going to be a long, fangirly, gif-heavy post, right? Because yeah. Yeah. Strap in and grab yourself a snack, we’re going to be here for a while.

YOU GUYS. Many moons ago – or, okay, a couple of months maybe? – a lovely Redditor (hey /u/normalcypolice!) was talking about working on opening her own perfume shop. I perked up like a prairie dog. New perfumes, you say?  And then later on she was talking about Buffy perfumes, and we got to discussing them in PMs, and then about a week ago it actually happened: Smelly Yeti Perfumery flung wide its (internet) doors and revealed not one Buffy perfume… not two… but a whole collection with more to come.

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Needless to say, I threw caution (and my bank balance) to the wind and ordered immediately. I did show some restraint in only ordering samples, at least – so today I have the entire Smelly Yeti lineup for review, which includes 7 Buffy scents and 4 others, which for the purpose of this post we will call “non-Buffy scents” with the disdain we normally reserve for stepping on dog poo or people who claim to “not like dessert.” (J/k! The other four are based on Back to the Future, Hitchhiker’s Guide the Galaxy, an anime I’m not familiar with called Ouran High School Host Club, and my nemesis Nicholas Cage’s hilari-bad remake of The Wicker Man. But seriously if you don’t like dessert, I don’t trust you.)

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Super adorable package. LOOK AT THAT FANCY FRENCH YETI.

Non-smelly details first: I ordered on Saturday, October 11th, received my shipping confirmation on Monday, October 13th (but stupid Columbus day ruined all our lives by delaying shipping, and also being a holiday that honors a straight-up jackhole of a human being), and received my order on Thursday, October 16th. Everything was packaged really well, with the samples – which are the tiny screw-top ones that stand up on their own – tucked into little boxes that were decorated with stickers (a special Giles one just for me!) and cute twine bows. In addition to what I ordered, I also received: two Airheads (vegan! also, gone), two little plastic dinosaurs which immediately joined my shelf o’ dinosaurs, two dinosaur fake tattoos, 6 mini pipettes for decanting oil (which will come in very handy since the other night I decanted some DC Ballyhoo out of a full-size bottle and into a 1 ml sample vial just by pouring it reeeeeeally slowly and it was terrifying), and not one but two awesome Yeti drawings. Overall this package gets a super thumbs up, totally made my day A++.

Bonus: all of Smelly Yeti’s products are vegan! And all future products will be vegan as well. Swoon.

Now onto the reviews! As always, reviews were done as blindly as possible, with notes and descriptions added after the fact.

THE HELLMOUTH COLLECTION

cordy_preen Beauty Queen: Ah, Cordelia. A sorbet sundae that’s fruity sour, and above all, cool, this perfume features pomegranate, lemon, lime, blackcurrant, raspberry, and rich vanilla with a hint of ice cream sweetness. Juicy, fresh, and bright- perfect for the cheerleader everyone loves to hate. 

Queen C, you fabulously tactless and eminently lovable bitch.

In the vial, Beauty Queen is extremely fruity – tart and sweet and fresh, I definitely get lime and raspberry, but it’s a little creamy, too. It smells awesome and not at all like chewable vitamins, which is what I would expect raspberry and lime to smell like.. (Raspberry tends to go very medicinal on me for some reason.) On skin it starts out very tartly fruity, but sweetens up quickly, with that creamy vanilla base coming up to soften everything out.

It’s a very sweet, girly scent with a citrus tang. It almost smells like some delicious fruity drink… maybe the kind Cordelia would have some panting freshman fetch for her at the Bronze. Either way, this is totally something she would wear, especially in her Rich Bitch early high school days.

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Buffybot: With slightly singed wire, motor oil, ozone, and a smooth metallic finish, this perfume calls to mind warm electronics. Subtle and slightly sweet, this perfume is just strong enough to get people slightly worried that the robot uprising is upon us. Just slightly worried. And, you know, sometimes you just want to smell like a robot. A slightly malfunctioning, overly peppy robot.

Warm, sweet, plasticky, slightly metallic. Smelly Yeti’s evil genius mastermind talked about doing a “warm electronics” scent, and here it is! On skin it starts out warm and sweet with a distinctly metallic note, which gets stronger as it dries down. There’s something sharp and buzzing about it, almost ozone-y, but dark, black. The only thing I’ve smelled that’s even remotely similar is DC’s Supernova Sway, but Buffybot is warmer, sweeter and less sharp. Also lacking the slight floral-ness of Supernova Sway.

I had no idea what to think about this one going in, but I actually really like it. Not only is it incredibly unique, it just… smells really good. And like warm electronics. Which is weird. But awesome.

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Captain Peroxide: Spike. Dirty leather coat, smoky tobacco, bleached hair, with a soft spot for a certain slayer. He may act tough, but at the heart of it all he’s a marshmallow. Red Egyptian musk gives it a smooth finish and a distinctive bloody coloring. This is the scent that has it all. Sweet but dingy. Smoky and sexy. This perfume is practically bottled pheromones. 

In the vial this one smells… like bacon. Or this vegan’s recollection of bacon, anyway (it’s been… 18 years). Smoky, salty, a little sweet. Bacony. On skin it’s still bacon, alternatively smoky and sweet, dirty and musky, and it would be sexy if it didn’t make me think of… bacon. The thing is that I know there’s no “bacon” in this, but honestly, it’s all I can smell and if I liked that kind of thing I’d probably love it, but I do not, so… I do not. The bacon-ness fades a little as it wears, but not enough for me to want to keep it on my person.

Of course, looking at the notes, I’m cursing my skin for turning leather, smoky tobacco, and red musk into bacon, because it sounds like it should be dead sexy. Just like Spike. Literally. (I’m not sorry.)

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Putting the moves on his second demon.

Demon Magnet: Cedarwood, dirt, sweet and salty musks, and a trace hint of that lumberyard je ne sais quois. No wonder Anya can’t resist him. Maybe the demons will flock to you too, once you smell like a hot carpenter. 

In the vial: cologne-y! Woodsy and musky and manly. On skin it smells, yep, like really nice cologne. Spicy and woody, musky, a tiny bit dirty but also kind of clean. I like manly scents like this, so I’m into it for myself, but I bet it would smell amazing on a guy. If I recall from my conversations with Abby, Xander’s scent was meant to be based on his grown up carpenter job… and I would call it a rousing success.

However, I remain slightly disappointed that my suggestion of Xander’s scent being jelly donuts and Drakkar Noir didn’t come to fruition. (Not really. This is why no one lets me run a perfume shop.)

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Pipsqueak: A funky and fruity and extremely tweeny blend of mulberry, strawberry, and sparkling lime. Initially created as a joke, (to include as a surprise with other orders, a la her reveal in season five) it ended up actually being good. Too good, in fact, to keep secret. I was going to make some sort of “key” joke here but I couldn’t think of one. 

Oh, Dawnie. You’re kind of the worst, but it’s not your fault, I guess. Blame the monks. In the vial, Pipsqueak smells bubbly and intensely fruity. On skin it’s a sparkling explosion of fruitiness – red fruits, I’m thinking, because it smells like fruit punch. Fancy fruit punch, made with sparkling water and with bits of fruit floating in it and stuff, but still – it’s got that concentrated super syrupy sweetness going on. Citrus cuts the sweet a bit and adds a little zing.

This is so incredibly sweet and girly, it’s perfect for Dawn. It’s like Beauty Queen’s younger, sweeter, fizzier sister. I also have to note a few things here – 1) this is a fizzy/bubbly scent that I actually like, and 2) this is TWO scents now with both berries and lime that didn’t turn to Flintstones vitamins on my skin. Bravo.

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Queen of the Damned: Drusilla, Spike’s sometimes-paramour, wanderer of graveyards, makes for an enchanting and unconventional floral scent. Among the more traditional bouquet of roses is a mélange of darker, cooler notes of cabbage, cedarwood, tuberose moss, dewy grass, and damp earth. The overall effect is one of flowers in a graveyard. Feminine.

In the vial, Queen of the Damned is a dark floral, with lots of green. On skin I get mostly the green parts – it reminds me a bit of DC’s Limerence, lush and green and thorny, like crushed and dripping dark leaves and stems. It’s floral in the sense that it smells like, say, a greenhouse or a flower shop – or more accurately for Dru, a night-blooming garden in the courtyard of Angel’s mansion – not in the usual sense of smelling like a particular flower.

This is good. I like it. I’m not a floral person, usually, but this a whole other kind of floral, and very appropriate for mad, dark, damaged but deadly Drusilla.

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An epic battle for the ages… SLAP FIGHT!

Unicorn Collector: Oh, Harmony. You try so hard to be bad. Bubbly and bright tangerine strawberries nestled in creamy tahitian vanilla and tonka bean. Pretty much the fruitiest, girliest scent to ever exist. 

Holy sweetness, Batman. In the vial, this is sweet and it is PINK. Like somehow even sweeter and pinker than Pipsqueak. On skin it’s actually not quite as sweet – still super fruity, but a little musky and creamy as well, with something almost slightly grassy underneath. It’s interesting. I expected a fruit-splosion for Harmony, but it’s not that predictable. Sweet and girly, yes, and I would still call it pink if I were assigning it a color, but there’s some dimension to it.

It’s nice. Very wearable. It’s also very subtle, with probably the lowest sillage of all the Hellmouth scents. (At least until we get to Riley. HEYO.) And contrary to the description, I think Pipsqueak is both fruitier and girlier.

Thoughts on the collection as a whole: As if I’m going to have anything negative to say about a goddamn line of Buffy perfumes. PLEASE. I really like all but one of the scents – I just can’t with Captain Peroxide, sorry Spike – and I’m super stoked to see what Abby comes up with next. In addition to more Buffy perfumes, she mentioned (after I begged for a Veronica Mars collection) that she has a VM scent in the works. THIS WOMAN IS MAKING ALL OF MY DREAMS COME TRUE. For reals, yo.

I’m going to try to fight the urge to collect all of these in full-size just to have them, but I make no promises. Buffybot, Beauty Queen, Queen of the Damned, and Pipsqueak are likely bottle purchases, with Demon Magnet and Unicorn Collector being maybes and Captain Peroxide, sadly, being a bacony no-go.

Okay, take a breath. Maybe a bathroom break? Fresh snack? Beverage re-fill? I’ll wait.

*whistles*

MOVING ALONG.

EVERYTHING ELSE (AKA NOT THE HELLMOUTH COLLECTION, AKA FINE I GUESS I WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF THINGS THAT AREN’T BUFFY, GOD)

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Blurry Yeti, just like every cell phone video taken in the woods by bros gone Squatchin’.

I’ll spare you the gif-storm for the rest because I’m not emotionally invested in these entertainment properties.

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster: According to Douglas Adams, this drink feels a bit like getting your head smashed by a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick. While it doesn’t have Fallian marsh gas going through it, our version is a striking citrus mint cocktail with a powerful sparkling punch. Unisex.

In the vial: lemon, then mint. It smells good but also a little like sweet toothpaste. On skin it’s a very strong lemon and mint, pretty equally dominant, like some kind of sweet lemon cocktail with a metric ton of mint muddled at the bottom. It’s definitely sweet, and reads alternately like toothpaste, candy, and booze. (Not in a bad way!) It smells exactly like something I can’t put my finger on… like one of those lemon-flavored butter mints! That’s a thing, right? I’m not making that up? Because that’s what it smells like.

As such it puts me in mind of two scents that also smell like butter mints to me: Solstice Scents Snowmint Mallow, which is much sweeter, heavier on the vanilla and butter, and completely lemon-free, and Arcana Puppy Kisses, which is more of a melty coconut butter mint, very creamy, and again, no lemon. PGGB is an entirely different scent, but if you like either of those and also like lemon, you’d probably love this one.

There is a bit of fizziness in the background, like seltzer, and after a while the lemon does go a teeny bit cleaner-y on me (citrus + fizz, it’s nearly unavoidable), but overall I like it. The description calls it unisex, and I suppose it could be, but on my skin it’s distinctly sweet.

Hey, McFly!: Inspired by old 50s ice cream parlors, this scent mixes fizzy cola and root beer with sweetshop vanilla to create a surprisingly unisex/masculine end result. Slather some on, go to the big dance. It’s your density.

In the vial I get sweet, syrupy cola. On skin the cola is the most prominent note at first, but then I get something a little woodsy and spicy, like men’s cologne. It goes surprisingly well with the sweet cola. It’s sharp and a little fizzy, but also sweet and smooth. It smells like a root beer float, but like… manly. Sexy root beer float? (Halloween costume!)

Looking at the notes, it is indeed root beer that’s giving me the cologne vibe. Not that root beer smells like cologne, but root beer has that sharp spiciness to it. The description is spot on in calling it surprisingly masculine, considering what’s in it.

This one is a big hit for me. I like that it smells like a soda fountain without just smelling like a soda fountain. It has pretty strong sillage, too.

Not the Bees: It might actually be more accurate to call this “Yes The Bees” because this perfume is a lovely sweet confection of candied honey and honeysuckle, punctuated by citrus and underscored with smooth vanilla. Nicholas Cage screams not included.  

Goddamn fucking Nicholas Cage. YES THE BEES. YOU GO, BEES. FOUR FOR YOU, BEES.

Ahem. In the vial, it smells like creamy delicious honey. On skin it’s honey and vanilla, smooth and sweet and creamy and yum. There’s a hint of a floral note to it, but mostly it just smells like something I want to drizzle on ice cream and shove into my face hole. Nicholas Cage does not deserve this.

After peeking at the notes, I see that the hint of floral is honeysuckle, which makes sense. It’s a nice honeysuckle. I love the smell in real life, but often perfume versions smell way too flowery or heady or strong, which isn’t honeysuckle to me – it’s a delicate scent. But I really like it here. This whole scent gets two thumbs up. It smells goddamn amazing.

Ouran: Roses. Bulgarian roses. English roses. Rosehip jasmine, pikake flower, and yuzu. Basically, FLOWERS. Plus, a hint of the tropical flavor that signifies the mark of a true silly anime – the token beach episode. 

I have no idea what Ouran is. An anime, I gather, but beyond that? Nope. I’ll talk your face off about Buffy (OBVIOUSLY) and Firefly and Veronica Mars and Doctor Who and Hannibal and the goddamn delicious drama of Pretty Little Liars (someone please make a PLL perfume collection, btw. Please?), but anime is not my are of pop culture interest. So I have no frame of reference for this, is what I’m saying. It was my free sample, which is awesome because it’s the only one I didn’t order. Thanks Abby!

In the vial, I get… pink flowers. Roses, but also something a little citrusy. On skin it’s a rose-a-palooza, a whole bouquet of the suckers. I like rose, but not always – I prefer my rose quite sweet, and not perfumey. This rose is not sweet, but it’s also not too perfumey – it smells almost but not quite like real roses. Like some very fancy French hand cream made with the individually plucked and hand-crushed petals of the roses from the gardens at Versailles or something. It’s definitely the most floral of all the scents, and the most traditional.

I’m a bit on the fence about it for myself, but it does smell nice. I like it, but it will require more testing. I might like it better as a candle or a shower gel than as a perfume. However, if you like rose scents, particularly of the more traditional variety, I recommend giving this one a try. It’s a quiet floral, soft and sophisticated and decidedly feminine.

Non-Hellmouth Favorites: Hey, McFly! and Not the Bees. Hey, McFly! is probably my #1 favorite out of all of the scents, surprisingly.

Overall thoughts about Smelly Yeti: An emphastic YES. I’m really happy with everything about my initial experience with this brand, from the inspiration (Someone’s finally giving Buffy its due! Marry me?)  to the cute and thoughtful packaging to the hilarious and easy-to-navigate website to the scents themselves, and I can’t wait to see what Abby cooks up in the future.

If you actually made it to the end of this post, congratulations! And thank you! Because jesus this was long. Reward yourself by checking out Smelly Yeti maybe?